April 16, 2002
So it's drizzling like mad at the Oakland Colliseum but it seems to have deterred the Honking Tuba Band of Great Horrendousness from playing which was a definite bonus as I had been dreading that all day, I mean I can't hardly think of a more excruciating sound in all the world than that of the Honking Tuba Band of Great Horrendousness there in Oakland. So anyway, we get off to an excellent start as Ichiro doubled to lead things off but then rather unfortunately, Jeff Cirillo hit into a fielder's choice but at least Ichiro was sneaky when he got caught in the run down and managed to keep them busy until Jeff could get to second base before Ichi was tagged out and then OH NEVERMIND let's just move along to the bottom half where... Jeremy Giambi, the forsaken brother of this year's biggest sellout, knocked one out to lead things off which was rather distressing but Freddy "Boom Boom" Garcia came back to retire the next 3 batters no problem, including a strikeout and I am happy to report that David Justice not only grounded out BUT he shaved off his horrifying satanic looking goatee, not that he's any less evil.
So second inning, 1-0 Oakland, and we are down in rather dismal order and then with 2 outs, Freddy yielded a harmless single to Terrence Long and we head to the third inning still trailing by one and with 2 outs ourselves, Ichiro stepped to the plate and there was all this booing going on which I don't really get, like first of all, up your butt Oakland, as a) Ichiro is not a sellout OR a jerk, so what's not to like, b) he not only was the MVP fair and square last year, he didn't dog out his team in favor of pinstripes and cash, so this had better not be a Jason Giambi thing unless they're aiming for sheer idiocy and c) he's done nothing to deserve this reception, not that he gives a damn anyway, so SHUT UP OAKLAND and then Ichiro knocks a nice little infield single, I mean BOO THAT why don't you, you misguided booing miscreants.
So anyway, we fail to score and then with 1 out, Jeremy Giambi hit a homerun again which was very annoying but Freddy recovered nicely and got the next 2 no problem, and we trail 2-0 as we head to the fourth inning and with 1 out, John Olerud singled and then Mike Cameron singled and then... and then... OH NEVERMIND. So anyway, Oakland doesn't fair any better, wasting Miguel Tejada's 2 out walk and we head to the fifth inning.
So Dan Wilson led off with a single, and then an out later and Ichiro singled and then Jeff Cirillo hit a double play ball and I was just starting to swear when Cory Lidle threw the ball into the outfield and Long missed it besides and Jeff was safe at first and Ichiro went t o second and Dan scored to make it a 2-1 game and HOW MUCH DO I LOVE CORY LIDLE and I'm not being all gloating or triumphant or anything, I've liked Cory ever since the game where he not only beaned Alex Rodriguez twice, but then pretty much called him stupid right afterwards, when he was all "he's not too bright" referring to Alex thinking it was on purpose that he'd hit him and I'm sorry for him that he made an error but I'll take it and t en you can very plainly see Cory say "Goddammit!". So then Bret Boone singled which scored Ichiro and tied the game and I have to point out how they keep panning to the very few fans in the stadium, several of which are M's fans and this one girl is decked out in her M's gear and is STANDING UP WAVING AN M'S FLAG and while I must admit she has EXCELLENT taste in baseball teams, if someone were in my stadium waving a visitor's flag while standing up during the game, I would take the flag, snap it in two and very politely hand it back to the owner, like, not in my house, honey. I mean really, how tacky is that. So then John Olerud was intentionally walked and I have to say that Jeff Cirillo's ass is filthy which cracked me up, because he slid trying to catch a foul ball the last inning and with the grass all wet and everything it made for a big old grassy mud stain right on the seat and anyway, Chad Bradford came in to relieve Lidle who was very upset and went in to the dugout and threw his glove and I was like "DOH" and then Mike Cameron doubled which scored 2 more and then Ruben Sierra singled which scored John and then the umpires decided to pause for a rain delay which was very, very annoying since we'd been playing in the same drizzle for some time without stopping and then suddenly, and during the fifth no less, before it was a complete game, with the M's having a little rally, it's all of a sudden TOO rainy? I MEAN WHATEVER so then I'm all cranky and Dan Wilson even gave the umps some crap about the lameness of it all and it's about 75 years later before we resume playing and Carlos Guillen hit a sac fly to score one more and we end up heading to the bottom half leading 6-2 and Joel Pineiro comes in to pitch since Freddy had been sitting too long and struck out Ramon Hernandez looking with this just NASTY pitch and then he struck out Carlos Pena looking with another NASTY pitch, like how nasty is Joel Pineiro and I mean that in a very good way, and then Giambi singled but I didn't mind since I was just happy that he didn't hit it out and Frank Menechino flew out to end the inning and we head to the sixth, where it is now an official game, HOORAY!
So then Mark McLemore leads off with a single but a double play later and Jeff Cirillo steps to the plate and he just rips this big nasty double and they show how during the rain delay Lou Piniella was giving him some batting tips which obviously paid off but we don't get any farther than that and head instead to the bottom half where it is starting to rain pretty good and unfortunately, Scott Hatteberg led off with a single and then David Justice walked and then Joel struck out Eric Chavez all nasty like but a wild pitch later and both the runners had advanced even though we had Hatteberg thrown out at third but the umpire somehow missed this even though Cirillo quite clearly made the tag and Cirillo was completely pissed off and yelling and rightfully so as he got robbed big time, but then Joel struck out Tejada like a champ and Long grounded out to end the inning and we move to the seventh where we're down in order after Magnante relieved Bradford and then they call for another rain delay and I am already exhausted and I know the boys have to be as well because it's freezing down there and they got in late to Oakland this morning, and finally, 400 years later, they call the game, and we win it in 6.5 innings, 6-2 over Oakland, extending our perfect road record to 9-0.
So anyway, at some point during the game which is just kind of a blur as I am so tired right now, the announcers were talking about how Ron Wright was sent down to the minors to pull up another pitcher for the spent bullpen and that Lou Piniella was like "He thanked us for the opportunity. He said he'd go down, hit and, if we called him back, he promised he wouldn't hit into another triple play" which I thought was really cute.
