April 12, 2002
"Confidence is a big part of it. These guys think they should win every game, and they don't let much distract them." -Lou Piniella on his Mariners
So I had spent the entire day playing blackjack and missed the game entirely because I was having so much fun and I had been at the same table from like 11 am that morning all the way until 1 am that evening and it was a very cool table except for Mr. & Mrs. Totalretard and I had been playing with the same people the whole time, like this very cool chick named Rhonda that made fun of everyone with me and this kind of spacy chick named Kerrigan that I liked because she asked me what to do with every hand and followed my directions, thusly not messing up my cards and costing the table, and this other wild woman who was about 45 or so named Bertie who got me drinking Mexican Coffee (a cup of coffee with a shot of tequila & kauhlua which I can't spell but which certainly tastes rather delightful, even when mixed with tequila and coffee) and we were all pretty loaded by the end of the evening needless to say and we had tons of cool dealers, my most favorites including Riley who told the Totalretards that the number one rule in blackjack is "DON'T KICK YOUR OWN ASS" which I shouted every time they considered taking a hit when they shouldn't, and then Marcos who had so much jewelry on that he practically blinded you while dealing cards and he was hilarious and started repeating the DON'T KICK YOUR OWN ASS rule to the Totalretards once he heard me hollering it and he was like "Listen to her! She is right!" and meanwhile he has the same exact accent as the house-man in the movie the Birdcage which made everything he said funny already because all I could picture was Hank Azaria lip synching to Gloria Estefan but anyway, my absolute, absolute favorite blackjack dealer would have to be Georgio from Bulgaria who would scream "GODDAMMIT!" if he beat anybody and would pound the table and yell "THIS IS A STINKY GAME!" if he managed to pull a good hand from a bust card and then my parents showed up and my father remarkably enough was not having a Homer Fussy even though I'm reeking drunk at this point in the evening and funnier even still was the fact that every blackjack dealer who came through KNEW ME BY NAME and would greet me with a cheery "HEY LAURA!" except Georgio who would always say "'Ay Laura, howjewdoink?" and my mom the next day was like "I didn't know whether to be proud or horrified that they all knew you by name" which cracked me up but I'm getting ahead of myself and anyway, I just had an absolute blast at this table and had an excellent run while Ichiro was leading off with a single and then Jeff Cirillo singled and an error by the pitcher later and both of them are in scoring position and then Bret Boone walked and an out later and Mike Cameron was hit by a pitch which forced in a run and then Ruben "I'm Goin Yard!" Sierra WENT YARD ALL GRAND SLAM LIKE against his former team and we head to the bottom half leading 5-0 where Frank Catalonotto singled and an out later the Shortstop Formerly Known As Honorable singled but 252 million can't buy you runs as Rafael Palmeiro lined out and Pudge K'd to end the inning and meanwhile Edgar has had surgery on a ruptured hamstring which sounds enormously painful and will be out 4-6 to weeks which is extremely upsetting to say the very least.
"Ruben has some production left in his bat. Today we had the chance to jump on Valdes early, and Ruben delivered. He got into a hitter's count and drove the ball over that wall in right center field. I said in spring training, he'll help us. I'll say it again now." -Lou Piniella
"I'd never in a million years want to lose Edgar, he's like a safety pin to this team, he keeps it together. But Ruben? I'm glad we've got him. Look at what he did last season. Now we need him more than ever." -Bret Boone
"I'm just doing the best I can, doing my job, until we get Poppy back. We'll all be doing all we can to help the team win while he is out." -Ruben Sierra, on filling in for Edgar
So second inning and we don't do much of anything except waste Cirillo's single which sucked but what doesn't suck is that Carl Everett struck out looking to lead things off for Texas and then Gabe Kapler walked and then Hank Blalock struck out looking like GO JAMIE MOYER and then some guy named Mench walked but they don't score and so it is still 5-0 Seattle as we head off to the third inning and meanwhile some cover band is singing songs by Pink and Smash Mouth and doing a fair job of it even though it was hard to concentrate on their singing with the scary sparkly leopard print pants the lead singer was wearing and Rhonda and I were majorly cracking up over it and then with 1 out, Mike Cameron TRIPLED and then Ruben walked but we somehow manage not to score anymore runs which would've been upsetting had I been watching instead of drinking Mexican Coffee at a blackjack table and Rusty Greer reached on an infield single and then Alex Rodriguez flew out and Palmeiro unfortunately doubled which scored a run but that's all the damage they do as we head to the fourth inning leading 5-1.
So Mark McLemore leads off with a single and then a fielder's choice later and Jeff Cirillo singled to put runners at the corners and then Van Poppel relieved Valdes and Bret hit a sac fly to score Ichiro and Jeff stole second but we settle for 1 and head to the bottom half where Blalock was hit by a pitch with 1 out but that's as exciting as it got for the Rangers so it is 6-1 as we head to the fifth inning.
So unfortunately, we don't do anything except waste Carlos Guillen's walk and then Greer singled to lead things off for Texas but nothing came of it which is always enjoyable, especially when A-Rod made an out besides. So sixth inning, and we're down in order surprisingly enough and then unfortunately, Everett walked to lead things off and then Ryan Franklin came in to relieve Jamie and... an RBI double, a single, a rescue from Arthur Rhodes, a sac fly and an error later, it was 6-3 Seattle and I'm kind of surprised because that's really not our style.
So anyway, some guy named Miceli relieved Van Poppel and managed to retire the side in order for the seventh inning but just when you were all disgusted with A-Rod singling to lead things off for their half, Rafael hit into a double play to erase it and Jeff Nelson relieved Artie to get the final out for the 1-2-3 inning and we head to the eighth inning where Carlos Guillen doubled with 1 out and got to 3rd on a fly ball from Ben Davis and some guy named Michalak relieved Miceli and then Carlos scored on a single from Mac and then Ichiro walked, and then Woodard relieved Michalak and Jeff Cirillo evidently struck out and was then ejected and I really wish I could've seen that because I love it when they get feisty and it is 7-3 Seattle heading into the bottom half where Desi Relaford takes over at third and Texas does nothing but waste Blalock's 2-out single.
So ninth inning and we're down in order and Kazuhiro Sasaki relieved Nellie and with 2 outs I could tell you what Alex did but I don't care to and even if you triple, it's good to know that 252 million still won't buy you a run as the M's win it 7-3.
"We play to win. We don't look ahead, we don't look back, we show up every day and play nine hard innings no matter who we're facing. We're not trying to eliminate anybody in April. We're just trying to win every game we play." -Arthur Rhodes
"It felt good to do it early, it felt good to [hit well] against this team. They didn't ask me back, I guess they made their decision, I made mine. I made the right one [coming to Seattle]." -Ruben Sierra
"It is fantastic to have a guy like Ruben to step in. We're lucky to have a guy like him, but I don't want to have Edgar not hitting behind me for long. It's almost a mental thing for us to have him with us, like a rock in the middle of our lineup. Hopefully, he'll be back soon. In the meantime, we'll all do our parts to pick up for him." -Bret Boone
