How Sweet It Is

April 12, 2001

Perhaps I should be saying how "sweep" it is if you'll pardon the pun, since that is exactly what we did today.

It was an afternoon game in Oakland, so I'll have to go mostly from the game log since I was only able to catch little bits and pieces, but the upside to this was that I wasn't subjected to any of that horrific tuba honking/drum beating medley they had going last night.

Okay so nothing exciting happened in the first it looks like, except that Oakland got two hits but they couldn't do anything with them so we don't care. Second inning, and Bret "I Am On Fire!" Boone got a single, but that was as good as it got. Then Oakland's third baseman, Eric Chavez, knocked a homer off of Jamie Moyer and just like that we are trailing 1-0.

Then came the third inning. Tim Hudson gives up singles to Ich "Call Me By My First Name" iro and Mike "Very Quietly Having An Excellent Start" Cameron. Then to the plate steps the Mighty Martinez. AND BAM, THREE RUN YARD SHOT!!! Then John Olerud walked. And then Boone singled. Ramon Hernandez, the A's catcher, missed the ball and they each moved up a base. Al Martin grounded out. Hudson evidently is a Mariner fan and felt bad that Al couldn't get anything done there, and threw a wild pitch, which scored Olie and moved Boone to second. Lampkin walked. Carlos Guillen doubled, scoring Bret Boone. Tim Hudson started crying. Just kidding. But Mark Guthrie came in to relieve him and got the last two outs. Mariners 5, Oakland 1.

Oakland got a couple of hits in the third and scored two, making it 5-3 M's, but it wasn't nearly as exciting as OUR third inning, so I'm going to skip the particulars and announce that nothing of any importance happened then or in the fourth or fifth so I can get to the good stuff.

And then came the sixth. Two outs, nobody on. Mike Cameron at the dish, and the next you thing you know it is 6-1 Mariners, with Mike picking up his first yard knock of the year. Then that [expletive deleted] pitcher HIT Edgar. That's right, he HIT Edgar. Edgar. The nicest man in baseball, and they hit him. Was it on purpose? I don't know. But it was appalling nonetheless, and I was driving down I-5 listening to the game on the radio when this occurred and all I can say is that it is a good thing that I have road rage and am a pro with driving and cursing at the same time, since I swore so vehemently that a more mild-mannered person would probably have swerved off the road during such an outraged vocabularic (a word I just made up) display but Edgar's a brute and was hit on the back and just trotted down to first base. And that pitcher, who is totally on my list, ended up paying for it anyway, because the next at-bat, John Olerud singled and the rightfielder made an error, allowing Edgar to score.

Jose Paniagua came in to relieve Jamie in the sixth, and kept Oakland at bay all the way through the 8th, and then Bret Boone picked up ANOTHER double in the ninth, but that was all and Jeff Nelson came in to sit Oakland down all lickety-split like, and we win it, 7-3, sweeping Oakland for the first time in 8 years and GUESS WHAT?! We are off to the greatest start in franchise history, with our record of 7-2, and we are doing it without Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr. or Alex Rodriguez, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.