Third Series A Charm For M's & Ichiro

April 11, 2001

We just won our third straight series.

Okay so the first inning starts out depressingly enough, and I'm not sure I can even bring myself to tell you what Edgar "That Did Not Just Happen" Martinez did because quite frankly, I'm still in shock, but how cool is it when you have a hitter on your ball club that is so phenomenal that when he K's you are stunned to the point that you can't even SPEAK and your mouth drops open in surprise and you have to sit down because that's pretty much what happened to me, and while I'm at it can I just say that there is no finer a hitter than him, and you'd be hardpressed to find a better man when you get right down to it because between Edgar and Jay "Laura's Hero" Buhner, the team-mentality, hard work, loyalty, class and just general good person-ness are nearly impossible to surpass. Aaron "Eight Shut Out Innings! Can you DIG IT!" Sele quickly sat down Oakland but not before I mistook their tiny, tiny little second baseman, Frank Menechino for the bat boy and what is it with 2nd basemen named Frank who look like they are about 13 years old? And could someone please tell the four Oakland fans that are actually in attendance at this game that their little music ensemble of a drum and what sounds like a tuba is teeth grittingly, mind numbingly, unbearably annoying.

Second inning. John Olerud hits a foul ball straight to Frank Menechino NO WAIT! It is the ball boy. The ball boy misses it. Oakland's huge crowd of what looked to be about 120 people total, boo him, which I thought was kind of mean. The ball kicks back into rightfield and Jeremy Giambi gets it for him and I have to say that I'm quite fond of the Giambi Brothers but I like them even more when they do poorly against the Mariners of course, and long story short in the top half of the second, Bret "Look At Me Go!" Boone gets a double but we waste it which is sad but not nearly as sad as the freak in the crowd who is wearing a rainbow wig, yellow mask and a superhero cape while he waves an Oakland banner, like just BUY A T-SHIRT FOR GOD'S SAKE. Then Oakland gets a double but they waste it too and if that little Super Lame Oakland Orchestra wanted to pipe down with that tuba, that would be great.

Then the announcers announce that the little party on the pitching mound and the managers on the field yesterday was because of two-tone colored pitching gloves and evidently, they are against regulation because the two-tone color "might distract the batter" which is hysterically funny if you think about it, and John Halama used one yesterday with Oakland's permission and then Mark Mulder used one today with the Mariner's permission and maybe the reason we couldn't get a hit off of Mulder last night was because we were hypnotized by his glove or something and so anyway, not one single exciting thing occurs in the third.

Then we get an AFLAC commercial and they are in an airport and some guy is walking and just WIPES OUT big time, and it just kills me and I have to say that there is nothing in the whole world funnier than someone falling down, unless it's Alex Rodriguez falling down himself.

Okay, I'm not sure I can even bring myself to talk about this, it's just unfathomable. Okay. Let's just say Mike Cameron got a lead off single, and then the unthinkable happened with... hold on, I just can't quite grasp it. Okay, Edgar grounded into a double play. There. Let us never speak of this again. Anyway, we got nothing accomplished this inning, and the pitching duel continued and I should also mention that I got the trivia question half right, which was "what players have the most career homeruns in the Oakland Coliseum" and I shout "Jay Buhner!" and my cat goes tearing off my lap and I think I may be scarred now but I was right and the other player was Carleton Fisk.

So then we are in the fifth and David Bell argues a call on an inside strike that Oakland got away with a lot more often than we did but whatever and anyway, the Super Lame Oakland Orchestra is honking away on their tuba and it is all I can do to not fly down there and destroy their instruments. Then in the bottom half, Mike Cameron makes an OUTSTANDING catch, and I'm also going to mention that Mark McLemore also made an OUTSTANDING catch (I think it was in the 8th), and what's that about pitching and defense? It wins championships? You don't say.

Sixth. Pitching duel. Dan Wilson caught Johnny Damon trying to steal. Pitching and defense, I'm telling you.

Seventh inning. David Bell gets the same inside call. Kicks up a fuss all the way into the dugout to Lou Piniella, who, bless his heart, goes out to talk to the ump which I thought was really sweet and supportive. And even if some of his bullpen choices have caused me angst in the past (Jose Mesa, anyone?), I have to say that their is no finer manager in my eyes. Personally, I think the ump was hypnotized by Mulder's two-tone glove and missed the call.

So top of the eighth and we have finally broken in to the Oakland bullpen, and are facing Jim Mecir and I had a good feeling about this when I saw Ichiro pinch hitting for Charles "Who Knew I Could Play Shortstop?" Gipson and SURE ENOUGH he comes through, and then comes McLemore, who was going to bunt, but then Lou called that off with the infield in so far and SURE ENOUGH McLemore shoots a single and gets Ichiro to third with it, and then Cameron grounds out, but scores Ichiro and got McLemore to second, and then... oh this really just broke my heart, I don't want to say it, but Edgar grounded out and I was just sitting there in shock, like NO WAY DID THAT JUST HAPPEN and how much do I love Edgar and anyway, they intentionally walk John Olerud which I think really, really irritated Bret Boone because he paid them back with a double, and that scored both John and McLemore and I really don't think I have ever seen John Olerud score all the way from first before. Then poor David K'd again, and we go to the bottom of the eighth leading 3-0, and Terrence Long singles. Jeremy Giambi makes an out. Ramon Hernandez singles to right. Long thinks he can get to third on it. Long thinks wrong. Ichiro threw a strike all the way from right field RIGHT TO AND I AM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING, David Bell's glove at third where he gets the tag down. Long is out. Everyone, including the Seattle Mariners were kind of surprised and are certainly impressed with their new rightfielder, and like I've been saying all along, did you expect anything less of stellar for someone that is replacing Jay Buhner? Mighty big shoes to fill there, of course he's going to be great, they wouldn't let just anybody take over, DUH.

And then of course, Sele finishes off his eight shutout innings.

Ninth we do nothing offensively, and Kaz comes in to close it out and made it look easy. He leads the league with 5 saves in 5 chances already this season.

"You gotta love these guys".

And on that spectacular throw of Ichiro's...

"Awesome. Incredible. There are not too many guys who can throw a baseball like that. Not only that, it took the air right out of their sails. I haven't see a guy throw a ball like that from the outfield in a long time." -Jay Buhner, fellow-cannon-for-an-arm-man

"I only heard the ball as it went past my ear. When I saw Long head for third, I just said, `You're out. Period, man, you are out.' And was he ever out." -Bret Boone

"I knew he had a great arm. But I was a little surprised. Rarely do you see a throw start that low and carry that far. I was looking to take it on the hop and it never hopped. It had some serious carry." -David Bell

"I thought to myself, 'Well, I guess they won't run on this dude again.'" -Mike Cameron

"Mariners manager Lou Piniella tried to recall players who had made throws that impressively. He came up with only a handful of names -- Buhner's, for one -- capable of turning the game around like that." -John Hickey, Seattle PI

And on one final note, I don't think I can sum it up any better than Mike Cameron does with this: "I keep reading about all the stuff we don't have, so I guess we'll just keep winning games with what little we do have."