So this rather horrifying event began with a 1 out triple from Miguel Tejada and Jason Giambi hit a sac fly to make it 1-0 Oakland and then with 1 out for us, Eugene Kingsale singled and then stole second and an out later and Edgar Martinez walked but then John Olerud ended up striking out nevermind that on one of the strikes he TOTALLY DID NOT GO AROUND, like whatever stupid third base umpire.

So second inning and Oakland is down in order and then we waste Ed Sprague's single, so third inning and with 2 outs, Johnny Damon and Tejada had back to back singles but they don't score which made me happy, especially since the next inning was really cool, when, with 1 out, Kingsale singled and then got to second on an E9 and and then Bret singled and then Edgar doubled which scored them both and we head to the fourth inning leading 2-1.

So Oakland is down in order and I was all "GO JAMIE MOYER!" and with 2 outs, Ramon Vazquez singled and then Ichiro singled which gave him 234 hits as a rookie, breaking the record of Shoeless Joe Jackson and then I can't remember if he broke Wade Boggs' record of singles during a season or if he just tied it but that's some pretty good company you're in if you're breaking Wade Boggs' records and Ichiro had to tip his helmet to the crowd which I love but we don't score anybody which made me very sad.

So fifth inning and Oakland sits down 1-2-3 and then we waste John Olerud's double which was followed by Mike Cameron's intentional walk and meanwhile they are playing the song "Under Pressure" in the background but we can't get anything done, so sixth inning and... God I really don't want to even talk about this, but it started off well enough because Johnny Damon was hit by a pitch and then got caught stealing and unfortunately... okay, 4-2 Oakland going into the bottom half, I really just can't discuss it without becoming violently ill I don't think. So then Tom Lampkin leads off with a single and Mike Magnante relieved Erik Hiljus and I refuse to say what happened next and let us just move along to the seventh inning.

This was horrifying. With 1 out, Ramon Hernandez walked and then Frank Menechino singled and then Damon singled to load the bases and then Lou Piniella brought in Jose Paniagua and 1 pitch and 1 grand slam later, it is 8-2 Oakland, Tejada has hit for the cycle and I have passed out cold from the horror of it all as Paniagua promptly gives up another 2 singles before getting lucky when Dye tried to stretch his into a double and was out at second and then Chavez grounded out and I regained consciousness just long enough to say a few bad words. So our turn, and Kingsale leads off with a walk and then Jeff Tam relieved Magnante and how many relief pitchers does Oakland HAVE anyway and Bret Boone grounded into a fielder's choice and NO WAIT! E4!! Everybody's safe! So then Edgar singled which scored Kingsale but that's all we manage to do. 8-3 Oakland.