Have I Mentioned This Is Getting Really Old?
July 17, 2003
So I'll start by mentioning the Home Run Derby & All-Star Game, the first of which was disappointing not only because Bret came in last but also because Shit Lips Rodriguez was commentating the whole thing with his stupid comments and his stupid dyed blonde hair and his stupid icky pink shirt and I pretty much had to be restrained from kicking out the television set when he made the rather asinine comment about how if he hadn't missed playing with Bret and Ichiro by a year then they'd all probably have a ring or some such bullshit as if Shit Lips is capable of getting us to the World Series somehow, Mr. CHOKES DURING THE PLAYOFFS, like EXCUSE ME ALEX RODRIGUEZ BUT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY THE LAST THING WE NEED TO GET A WORLD SERIES RING THANK YOU VERY MUCH and then to make matters worst, after Bret was done hitting and walked back to be interviewed, Shit Lips tried to slap Bret's ass like KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF ALEX! and I really can't talk about this anymore.
"I feel terrible, man. He's the reason I'm here, and he got shut out. He told me I'm going to have to take a bus home." - Dave Valle, who came to the All-Star game specifically to pitch to Bret during the HR Derby
A/P Photo
"He stinks. That guy ... without a doubt, it wasn't me; it was definitely David. He's in trouble with me. He'll never come again. He pitches good to the lefties, though. I don't even want to check voice mail. I'm sure I don't have to wait until Thursday. Alex (Rodriguez) was getting on me doing the commentating. I looked at him and said, 'Now I know why you're commenting. You're terrible at this, too. It's like a different sport.' I can't even say it was fun. I'll tell you what else: Ichiro brought me my bat up there, and he brought me the wrong one. I said, 'What about this bat? It's not working'. Me and him were talking about it beforehand and decided he was going to deliver my bat. He told me after I didn't hit one, 'Bad luck.'" - Bret Boone, joking about getting shut out
Top Vote Getters, Ichiro & St Louis' Albert Pujols - A/P Photo
And here's a few nice words about Edgar, making what will likely be his final All-Star appearance...
"We always just laugh because it's hard to fathom what he's done. Watching him on TV, the way he can hit the ball for that many years, with that consistency and that hard, it's just unbelievable. I think everyone in baseball is just in awe of Edgar." - Milwaukee Brewers' Richie Sexson
"There haven't been many bad swings I've seen him take since I've been in the big leagues." - Arizona Diamondback's Luis Gonzalez
"He's been awesome to watch. I played with him early in his career when he was just coming into his own and was a main force. And I played with him late in his career, where his body isn't quite what it was. But I think the great, great ones — which I consider Edgar ... he's needed to make adjustments, and he has. He doesn't have the legs he used to have. He doesn't see like he used to be able to see. I don't think, if we switch bodies, I could do what he's doing. Yet he's still sitting here at .300 and almost 20 home runs at the break. It takes a special person and special hitter to do what he's doing at his age." - Bret Boone
Jamie Moyer & Sons Hutton & Dillon - A/P Photo
So the All-Star Game was okay I guess, although I didn't care for Edgar getting hit in the head, but at least the pitcher was equally horrified as he looked like he was going to vomit into his glove and Jamie Moyer was perfect in his first ever All-Star appearance and the American League pulled off a sweet finish to win home-field advantage and that's good news for Edgar GOD WILLING WE GET THERE but I still object to the All-Star Game being the determination for this, as did Bret Boone who got into it with the King Of All Assclowns, Bud Selig, but I guess we're stuck with it.
Another Picture Of Jamie's Family Just Because Karen Moyer Is So Cool
Photos By John Lok
So back to the game at hand, things started off with Ichiro getting hit by a pitch and then he stole second and then Mark McLemore grounded him over to third and then... we don't score him and I say the first of many, many bad words, and then some guy named Aaron Guiel led off for Kansas City and he's listed as 5'10 on the Royals' website, but if he's 5'6 I would be very surprised as he appears TINY next to Dan Wilson and he grounds out and Freddy Garcia barely beat him to the bag like LOOK ALIVE THERE FREDDY and then Julius Matos struck out and then Carlos Beltran singled and then Raul Ibanez singled but Ken Harvey grounded out to end the inning and meanwhile they have announced it's like 96 degrees there which makes me sick to even think about.
So second inning and everybody's down in order, so off we go to the third and with 2 outs, Ichiro singled, but we don't score him and then... it's 2-0 Kansas City before we make it to the fourth and I am overcome with a deep sense of foreboding.
Sure enough, Bret Boone leads off with a TRIPLE and an out later and John Olerud walked but we FAIL TO SCORE EITHER OF THEM and then with 1 out, Angel Berroa homered to make it 3-0 KC, and then Brent Mayne singled but Dan gunned his butt down when he tried to steal second which is really the only thing I care to talk about during this inning.
So fifth inning and with 1 out, Dan singled, and then Ichiro reached on an infield single and then an out later and Bret walked but we leave the bags full and I am forced to use very vile language and I really, truly wish they would stop talking about it being "Lima Time" with the Royals' starting pitcher Jose Lima as THAT IS THE STUPIDEST SLOGAN EVER, except for maybe "Sodo Mojo". So bottom of the fifth and Guiel is hit with a pitch but it's nicely erased by a double play and they end up not scoring for a switch.
So off we go to the sixth where John Olerud singled and then an out later and Jose Lima pulled something and Jason Grimsley came out to pitch and Randy Winn walked and then Willie Bloomquist grounded into a double play bigger than life but somehow the first base umpire blew the call and insisted Bloomie was safe and then Dan Wilson singled which scored Ole and then Ken Harvey, the Royals' first baseman, was ejected for jawing off to the ump some more about missing that call and we settle for the 1 run which Kansas City more than gets back as Freddy loses all fucking control again and Aaron Taylor came in to relieve him after the walk, single and double he gave up and didn't fair any better than Freddy did as it's 7-1 before we're finally out of the nightmare.
So seventh inning and Curtis Leskanic came in and Mark McLemore singled and an out later and Edgar ripped a big nasty double but we of course don't score them as that seems to be our new thing and then Kansas City wastes a 1-out single from Jarrod Patterson, and off we go to the eighth where Sean Lowe came in for Leskanic and retired us in order.
So bottom of the eighth and Rafael Soriano came in for Taylor, and with 1 out, he hit Carlos Febles with a pitch and evidently, Febles was hit with a pitch from Taylor earlier and the ump issued a warning so Soriano was ejected as was Bob Melvin and it would seem to me that maybe Febles ought to back his butt up off the plate if he's getting drilled twice in one game and I didn't get to see any of this because I had to turn it off due to health concerns long before now, and Julio Mateo came in to pitch and then Guiel singled but they don't score and off we go to the ninth where we're down in rather pathetic order and I sure hope we have this losing crap out of our system.
