Redemption!

July 5, 2003

So this event began with us sitting down in order, and then Texas wasted a 2 out single by Shit Lips, so off we go to the second, where we waste Mike Cameron's 2 out single, and then Texas wasted a couple of singles from that Mench guy and that Ludwick guy, both of which I'm not terrifically familiar with, so let's just move along to third, where Jeff Cirillo ripped a big nasty double and Dan Wilson grounded him over and then Ichiro grounded him in and then Mark McLemore singled and we settle for the 1 run and lead it 1-0 as we head to the bottom half where Jamie Moyer retires the side in order.

So fourth inning and we're down in order and then Captain Viagra himself, Rafael Palmeiro, led off with a walk and then stupid Juan "Doomed Himself To Mediocrity" Gonzalez hit one out and the Rangers take the lead 2-1 and I swear very loudly.

So we waste a 1 out double from Jeff Cirillo and then Shit Lips reached on a 1-out infield single but that was as exciting as it got, so let's just move along to the sixth, where Mark McLemore led off with a single and then... we do nothing and neither does Texas as they waste their own lead off single from the Mench guy whose name kind of cracks me up.

Seventh inning.  The Rangers rearrange their outfield.  John Olerud leads off with a single and then Mike Cameron walked and then Willie Bloomquist ran for John and then Randy hit a foul ball and they started to turn it like it was fair and Shit Lips wasn't expecting it so Blalock totally whizzed it right by him and Shit Lips grabbed his arm like a big girl and I laughed and then the runners go as Randy grounded out and then Jeff Cirillo hit a sac fly which scored Bloomie and we tie the game at 2-2 before heading to the bottom half where with 1 out, Blalock singled, and then Shit Lips hit into a double play only the umpire, perhaps blinded by A-Rod's big sissy necklace, called him safe and Bob Melvin argued but was unsuccessful in convincing the ump what a complete piece of shit that call was and then Arthur Rhodes relieved Jamie and got Palmeiro to ground out and off we go to the eighth.

So pitching change, blah blah blah, Ichiro leads off with a single and then an out later gets caught stealing and we don't get anything going which makes me swear very loudly, and Texas doesn't fair any better as Jeff Nelson came in and sat them down in order.

Ninth inning.  We're down in order.  Rafael Soriano relieved Nelson and with 2 outs, gave up a walk to MikeYoung but recovered nicely by getting Blalock to foul out, so off we go to the tenth, and Urbina whose name I can never get quite right comes in to pitch and Randy led off with a single and then Cirillo sacrificed him over to second and then Dan Wilson singled which scored Randy and then Ichiro singled but we settle for the 1 run which turned out to be plenty as Shiggy came in and retired Shit Lips, Captain Viagra and Mr. Mediocrity in order to end the game.