Dylan Graduates Kindergarten

June 14, 2003

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So this game began while I was attending my nephew Dylan's kindergarten graduation which made me bawl like a ninny because I can't believe how big and grown up and smart he is now and meanwhile Jamie Moyer very uncharacteristically started things off by walking Rafael Furcal and then Marcus Giles grounded him over to second and then Gary Sheffield singled which scored him before Andruw Jones blessedly hit into a double play and off we go to the bottom of the first and Ichiro led off with a single and Carlos Guillen grounded him over to second and then an out later and Edgar walked but we are unable to score, and trail 1-0 as we head to the second inning.

"It reeks like a Hooters waitress in the dugout here, Bobby Cox."

"No, Tommy Lasorda, that's just Chipper."

So Jamie retired the side in order and Mike Cameron led off with a single but third base is as far as we can get him, so let's just move along to the third where Vinny Castilla led off with a walk, and then something weird happened where the ump changed his call from a ball to a strike on Furcal and that got Bob out of the dugout, but like us last inning, third base is as far as they get Vinny, and I am beginning to sense a pattern, as Ichiro walked, went to second on a groundout, and an out after that stole third, but we STILL DON'T SCORE.

So fourth inning and I'm sorry I don't have a lot to add here but I was watching my nephew graduate so you will just need to deal with it and Shel was at work, so I don't have her commentary either and anyway, Gary Sheffield led off with a walk and I don't know what all this walking business is about, especially with the lead off batter because that is so TOTALLY NOT Jamie's style and anyway, Andruw hit into a double play again and Javy Lopez grounded out and then Mike Hampton retired us in order.

Fifth inning!  Julio Franco leads off with a single!  Jamie retires the rest of the side on 3 consecutive fly balls!  I arrive home about this time, and Jeff Cirillo is safe on an error but that is all the baserunning we manage!  Sixth inning!  Everybody's down in order!  Let's keep going to the seventh!  With 1 out, the beautiful Javy Lopez reaches on an infield single!  Then Julio Franco singled!  An out later and Vinny Castilla struck out and NO WAIT!  That was a ball?!  He ended up walking!  I won't bitch too much out of respect to Shel!  There is Darren Bragg!  He is like 0-for-79 with runners in scoring position!  He picks now to break out of that slump!  I shout "OH GODDAMMIT" as he bloops a single!  Javy scores!  I am still able to admire Javy's beautiful face even though we now trail 2-0! 

Okay so I'm tired of the exclamation points, and let's just move along to the bottom of the seventh where we sit down in rather dismal order and then with 1 out in the top of the eighth, Sheffield doubled, and then Andruw doubled which scored Sheffield and I sigh forlornly and Giovanni Cararra came in and promptly started walking people which was giving me a major Homer Fussy and he loads up the bases but then a strikeout and a fly ball later, he managed to work himself out of it without allowing anybody to score and off we go to the bottom half trailing 3-0.

So there's a nice shot of Mike Hampton's wedgie and Dan Wilson led off with a walk and then Kevin Gryboski relieved Hampton and Ichiro reached on an infield single and then Mark McLemore hit for Willie Bloomquist and singled and with the bases loaded, Braves' manager Bobby Cox came out to get Gryboski and was all "that's okay son" and I was like "PLEASE GOD NO DO NOT BRING IN JOHN SMOLTZ RIGHT NOW" and as you're probably aware, Smoltz is a machine and boasts an .072 ERA and is on pace to break the saves record and son of a bitch if he doesn't come jogging in and I am overcome with a deep sense of foreboding and Bret hits a sac fly to score Dan after first trying to swing himself out of his shoes and then I figured either Smoltz is about to blow a save with Edgar and Ole coming up right here or we're about to lose our first day game and let's just say it was fun being 17-0 while it lasted.

"That's not an easy situation to come in on, with the bases loaded and no one out. But if there's anyone you can bring into that situation, it's him." - Bob Melvin on Smoltz

So top of the ninth I am chatting with Shel at this point as Atlanta is leading 3-1 and some guy named White comes in to pitch for us and I have never heard of this guy and I have NO IDEA where he came from, but anyway, Bragg reached on a bunt, and then 2 outs later, Julio Mateo came in to get the third out and we head to the bottom half where Cammie walked to lead things off, and then possessed of demons, he tried to steal second and it did NOT GO WELL and the announcers were all "that was horrible!" and indeed it was and even Mike Cameron was all "I messed up. I shouldn't have done that. I thought I could get it but even if I did it wasn't a good idea. That's just a boneheaded mistake there." but I still love you Mike and it didn't really matter anyway because we couldn't get anything going and we drop game 2.

"They've got a great crowd, incredible fans who have duplicated a World Series or playoff atmosphere.  It's nice to play in June to a sold-out stadium in a big atmosphere with two teams that have the best records." - John Smoltz, Atlanta closer

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