There's Just Something About New York
That Makes Baseball Suck
June 6, 2003
So this stupid event began with Ichiro singling, and then Carlos Guillen walking, and then Bret Boone grounding them over and then John Olerud being intentionally walked because the Mets are a big fat bunch of chickens before a rather unfortunate double play that pissed me off mightily and made all six of the fans at Shea Stadium stand up and cheer. So bottom of the first, and Roger Cedano led off with a single and then Ty Wiggington hit into a fielder's choice that actually would've been a double play but Bret accidentally threw to first offline and he was kind of pissed about it but then we pulled off a really sweet strike em out throw em out DP off of Roberto Alomar so it all worked out anyway.
Second inning and Randy Winn hit a ground rule double and then an out later and Ben Davis walked and meanwhile they flash to the stands where there are a bunch of Navy officers which was cool and then Ryan Franklin bunted them over and ran really, really slow to first base where they threw him out no problem of course, and then Ichiro was intentionally walked due to the remaining fact that the Mets are a BIG FAT BUNCH OF CHICKENS and we once again leave the bases loaded and I again drop the F-bomb as Carlos Guillen hits a routine pop up. So then bottom of the second and the announcers inform us that big stupid apple they have there flashes every time a Met hits a homerun and then Ryan Franklin retires the side in order, including Cliff Floyd whom I was unaware was even with the Mets and we go to commercial where this guy in a lettuce suit is screaming "I'm Larry Lettuce!" at people driving by which for some reason strikes me as uproariously funny.
So third inning, still no score, and we waste Mike Cameron's 2 out double to leave men stranded in scoring position for the third inning in a row and then the Mets tack on a run and nobody really cares how and then we see Freddy Garcia in the dugout making notes and hopefully he has made note NOT TO PINCH LIKE A CHUMP tomorrow and moving right along to the fourth, Ryan Franklin singled with 2 outs and then Ichiro was safe on an error and Ryan went to third and then Carlos singled which scored Ryan and tied the game and then Seo does that ridiculous third-to-first checking of the runners that should automatically result in everyone getting a free base because that move is so PATHETICALLY STUPID LOOKING I CAN'T STAND IT and we head to the bottom half all tied at 1 and Ryan retired the side in order again, thanks to a nice play by Olerud to end the inning.
So fifth inning and we're down 1-2-3 and then Jason Phillips led off with a homerun and the stupid apple went blinking and it's 2-1 New York as we head to the sixth where Jeff Cirillo led off with a double but we're unable to score him and then we see that "I'm Larry Lettuce!" commercial again which continues to amuse me no end and then Cedano reached on a bunt single to lead things off for the Mets and an out later, we executed another strike em out throw em out double play off of Alomar and I really love those.
So seventh inning and we're down in order and when we come back from commercial there is this bigass baseball-head thing standing on the top of the dugout messing with fans and I guess this is the Mets' mascot, Bigass Baseball Head Guy, and Cliff Floyd led off with a homerun which sucked mightily and Ichiro almost caught it and you very plainly see him say "DAMMIT" and anyway, off we go to the 8th trailing 3-1.
So then Cam leads off with a single and then Randy hit what would've been a triple that would've scored Cam had it not bounced over the fence, and I am just all kinds of annoyed about this and then some Weathers guy relieves Seo and we have to see all these advertisements for a dancing boy band that is going to be performing at Safeco Field I guess and Dave Valle teases that Rick is the choreographer for them which was kind of funny and anyway, an out later and Ben grounded out which scored Cam and we settle for the 1 run and trail 3-2 as we head to the bottom half where Jeff Nelson comes in and retires the side in order.
So ninth inning and Benitez comes in to pitch and with 2 outs, Bret singled but that was as exciting as it got and our mad winning streak came to an end which really, really blew. I hate New York.
