M's Build Quick Lead & Clay Builds Me Up,

 Buttercup

April 29, 2003

"Usually when you're in New York and you want to hear beautiful music, you go to the Met or take in a musical on Broadway. Last night, you went to Yankee Stadium. You heard the sound of "shhhh." Gil Meche took all that Ichiro-vs.-Matsui talk and buried it under a cone of silence, 6-0. In its place was the muted sound of a quiet, muzzled crowd, a crowd unused to seeing the Yankees dominated, a crowd unhappy at seeing Roger Clemens exploited." - John Hickey, sportswriter

"Shoot, yeah, [the spotlight on Ichiro & Matsui] helped.  While they all watched them, I'm just out there doing my job." - Gil Meche

It doesn't get much better than beating Roger Clemens, although Clay Aiken's version of 'Build Me Up Buttercup' and 'Solitaire' are a dead even tie with it I think, but I'll get to that in just a bit. 

So anyway, I'm not a fan of Roger "Classless" Clemens and this game TOTALLY RULED because with 2 outs, Bret "I'm Going Yard Off Roger Clemens" Boone WENT YARD OFF ROGER CLEMENS and somehow his helmet went flying so he ran around the bases without it and then Edgar singled but we settle for the 1 run which I don't get to see because I'm working late, and then Gil Meche retired the Yankees in order.

"That was definitely weird.  I've never done that before. I didn't know if I should go back and pick it up or what.  I felt naked running the bases." - Bret Boone

Bret Knocking His Helmet Off - Photo by Osamu Honda

Bret Takes Clemens Yard - A/P Photo

So second inning, 1-0 Seattle, and with 2 outs, here we go again with Jeff Cirillo singling and then Ben "I Think I'll Go Yard Off Roger Clemens Too!" Davis WENT YARD OFF OF ROGER CLEMENS TOO AND WE ARE UP 3-0!!!!!!  I so wish I wasn't working late because I would've loved to see that live, and anyway, Gil yields a harmless 2 out walk to Jorge Posada, and off we go to the third.

"By far, Gil is the best young pitcher I have seen come out of our organization in my whole career." - Edgar Martinez

So I'm in my car listening to the game and am on my way home at this point and we're down in order although Rick mentioned how Posada's mask came off during Edgar's at-bat and Edgar handed it to him, like what a gentleman Edgar Martinez is, and I have to say that if I were at bat and the Yankee catcher's mask fell off, I would kick it as hard as I could into the stands, and nothing personal against Jorge or anything, I just hate the Yankees, and anyway, with 1 out, that Almonte guy singled and then Alfonso Soriano hit into what would've likely been a double play, and Bret, evidently thinking there were already 2 outs, just tagged the bag at second instead of trying to turn two and Rick is all talking about how pissed off Bret is right now and then some guy named Johnson walked but then Jason Giambi grounded out like the sellout that he is and all I can say is GO GIL MECHE and meanwhile I am just arriving home at this point.

"That's just dumb.  I've never rooted harder for a pitcher to get out of an inning than I did there. I didn't want that to cost Gil." - Bret Boone on his oopsy

So I get my car in the garage and go running in and flip on the TV and actually, I didn't really run because I don't do that and John Olerud has just ripped a big nasty double and then Mark McLemore flew out and John went to third and an out later and Cirillo walked, but we surprisingly enough don't score and head instead to the bottom half where Gil Meche 1-2-3's those pinstriped bastards.

"He short-shirted me twice.  Twice, I was in the clubhouse changing my shirt when Meche got through an inning so fast I had to hurry back out there." - Roger Clemens

Gil Meche Kicking Yankee Ass - A/P Photo

So fifth inning and we don't do anything, and then Raul Mondesi singled with 1 out and went to second on a wild pitch but that is as far as he got so nobody really cared and then EDGAR "I'M KNOCKING ONE OFF ROGER CLEMENS TOO BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE IS!" MARTINEZ KNOCKED ONE OUT TO LEAD THINGS OFF AND I SIT THERE AND GIGGLE MYSELF INTO NEAR APOPLECTIC GLEE AS WE TAKE A 4-0 LEAD.

So in an odd coincidence, Edgar loses his helmet as well and takes the bases without them and when I tell Shel this, I'm all "I think Bret just wanted to show off his highlights, but I as far as I could tell, Edgar just sort of ran out from under his helmet" and she says "all that speed must have blown it off" and we crack up because we think we're funny and then Ole singled, and anytime they wanted to stop talking about how great Roger Clemens is that would be super duper, because I really don't like Roger, not one little bit, and an unfortunate double play later, Cirillo singled and meanwhile Rick and Dave Valle give a big shoutout to Jay Buhner who, liked Gar, just kills the Yanks, and we end up settling for Edgar's solo and head to the bottom half and can I just say that Dave Valle has jet lag or something because he can't hardly talk tonight and it is making me laugh.

So bottom of the fifth, and Jason Giambi singled with 1 out but that was quickly erased by a double play and I can't get over how clean shaven he is, and all I can say is SELLOUT SELLOUT SELLOUT and off we go to the sixth inning, and Hammond is in for Clemens and Ben leads off with a big nasty double and then Ichiro just lays down the most beautiful bunt you've even seen in your life and gets a single out of it besides.

Ichiro's Bunt Single - A/P Photo

So then an out later and Bret Boone rips this big nasty double, and when I say big and nasty I mean BIG AND NASTY because it scored both Ben and Ichiro and it almost scored Bret because he went to third on the throw to the plate and as he was sliding, the Yankees threw the ball away and he got right back up and took off for home only he ended up getting tagged out by Posada, but we still got the 2 runs and it was all kinds of exciting.

Bret Going For Home - A/P Photo

Bret Celebrating His 2 RBI Double - A/P Photo

So then an out later and off we go to the bottom half and with Matsui up, or "Godzilla" as he is called, they pan to the crowd and there is some guy wearing... well, my nephew Dylan would call it a "T-Rex" mask and my other nephew Casey would call it a "T-Wex" mask and I personally would call it a T-Rex mask myself, although I guess it was supposed to be Godzilla and it WAS kind of funny and anyway, Matsui grounds out and Posada strikes out and Robin Ventura grounded out as well which made me really happy.

So eighth inning and some Choate guy relieved Hammond and John Olerud singled and Mark McLemore singled but that was unfortunately as exciting as it got, so bottom of the eighth, and Mondesi led off with a single and then Gil had Almonte STRUCK OUT but the ump missed the call and he ended up singling and Bryan Price came out to talk to him and then there was some booing because a couple of pitches were up and in on Soriano, and okay, one was over his head, but BOO IT UP YOUR BUTT NEW YORK and then Soriano lined a shot to Bret which he used to double Mondesi off of second which was pretty badass and then that Johnson guy singled and Bob Melvin went out to talk to Gil evidently not realizing it was the second visit to the mound in the inning and he started to leave Gil in because he hadn't made a call but since it was the second visit, Gil had to go and Arthur Rhodes came in and got Giambi to fly out and off we go to the ninth.

"When I got out there, I asked [Meche] how he was feeling.  He was saying, 'I feel great.' I got so caught up in the way he was feeling that I forgot what I came out there to do.  I saw Boonie after the game, and he said, 'Skip 1, Boone 1.'" - Bob Melvin, on he and Bret's collective odd mishaps of the evening

So Sterling Hitchcock relieved Choate and Val slurred Sterling's name something fierce and I cracked up and I think maybe Val was kind of drunk or something, but anyway, we somehow end up down in order, and Shiggy comes in for Arthur to finish off the Yankees and he struck out Bernie Williams and then Matsui singled but Shiggy got the next 2 no problem and we win it, 6-0, handing NYY their first shut out of the year.

Shiggy Shuts Them Down - A/P Photo

So speaking of things that kick ass, it is American Idol night, and since we're playing on the east coast, I don't have to flip back and forth between the game and the show and it is NEIL SEDAKA NIGHT which I am very excited for and unfortunately, it starts off with that nimrod Ryan Seacrest, who is wearing... a woman's yellow blouse and 1, the blouse is too tight, and 2, it is a very unflattering color on him, and anyway, there's the final five idols, and I can't really recall too much from that, because I was blinded by Trenyce's GHASTLY mini-dress and there are the judges, Randy, Paula, Paula's Boobs and Simon, and then there is Neil Sedaka!!!  I love Neil Sedaka!!! 

Neil Sedaka Ruling - Photo stolen courtesy of our Shelly

So anyway, Ruben opens with 'Ain't Too Proud To Beg' which I thought he was excellent on and then Trenyce sang 'Proud Mary' so well I could ALMOST ignore her dress and Simon called it a "drag act" and then Ryan makes some smart ass comment about how he wondered how Simon knew so much about drag acts and all I can say is that a man wearing a woman's blouse and a shitload of stage makeup really shouldn't make fun of other people's drag fetishes but sadly enough, Simon doesn't slap Ryan right out of his ugly shoes.

 So anyway, there's Josh and I really dug his take on 'Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye' and then we go to commercial where they are advertising... I don't know what they are advertising, but this guy sleeps through someone shaving his EYEBROW off, which is completely ludicrous, but I have to say it was more enjoyable than Kimberly Locke's DREADFUL performance of 'Heard It Through the Grapevine' and - seriously, her attitude just GALLS me no end, I don't think her voice is great, and I really could've done without the horrifically tight jeans and the camisole she forgot to put a shirt on over, and I can't even begin to stand how full of herself she is, and are the judges DEAF when she starts singing or something because somehow they are missing how BAD SHE SOUNDS.  So then THANK GOD, here comes CLAY!  And he's singing 'Build Me Up Buttercup' and does a SPLENDID job and I can't even get over how AWESOME he is and Neil Sedaka is SO darling as a judge and he's all "I would kill to write and produce your first album!" and then they each sing a Sedaka song, and I didn't really care for Ruben's slowed-down version of 'Breaking Up Is Hard To Do', like leave that classic alone please and Trenyce did an excellent job with 'Love Will Keep Us Together' which is one of my all time favorite songs and then Josh didn't sound so great with 'Bad Blood' and he got all pissed off at Simon which cracked me up, but at least Josh sounded better than that horror show Kim Locke in her stupid pink hat and too tight jeans who just butchered the hell out of 'Where the Boys Are' and I honestly don't know how Neil kept from running up there and pulling her stupid pink hat over her smug face for ruining his song like that, and then THANK GOD here comes Clay again and he's all standing in his spotlight where he belongs as you will see here...

Shel stole this photo from a message board as well

...and he does this really breathtaking cut on 'Solitaire' and Neil GIVES this song to Clay and Simon compliments him and adds how Clay can take criticism like a grown up and improve from it and I so love Clay and Simon and my official take on the order of good performances this evening would be Clay, Trenyce, Ruben, Josh and then a distant last with Kim - who I'm hoping gets booted off tomorrow as I have not liked her since her retarded comment of "I used to think you were sexy, but now I think you suck!" to Simon like STUPID MUCH?  And anyway, there you have it.

And this one is just for (and stolen by) Shel, who also loves Clay's mom as well...