Happy Birthday To My Mom

April 14, 2003

So it's my Mom's birthday and we are heading back from dinner after we had spent the day at the Seattle Center and I am riding with my sister Paula and The Nephews and she turns on the radio so we can listen to the game and Casey is chattering away about this disgusting octopus toy he got at the gift shop and he LOVES this thing, and Dylan is chattering away about nothing in particular and I can't barely hear JAY BUHNER who is broadcasting, and I have to tell you that the only two people I will tolerate on the face of this planet talking over Jay are The Nephews and I can only JUST BARELY tolerate this mind you, and with 1 out, Singleton doubled and an out later and Chavez singled which scored him and we head to the bottom half trailing 1-0 nothing and I pop a blood vessel trying to keep from swearing in front of The Nephews because my sister gets all mad when I accidentally slip and she's all "LANGUAGE!" and on a bit of an unrelated note, I have to say "TURN SIGNAL!" because she doesn't always use hers which is an ENORMOUS pet peeve of mine.  Hi Paula! 

So anyway, bottom of the first and Ichiro reached on an infield single and then Randy Winn singled and with runners at the corners Bret hit a ground rule double and we tie the game!  And then Edgar hit a sac fly and we take the lead!  And then Colbrunn hit into a fielder's choice and they caught Bret in a run down and the way Rick and Jay were talking about, Bret was leading them on a merry chase running around the on deck circle which majorly cracked us up and by the time they tag him, Colbrunn's at second but we don't score any more and meanwhile we are getting out of the car and heading into the house as we head to the second.

So second inning and I have insisted that the TV be muted and the radio be on so I can listen to Jay and this fusses Homer up because he insists that the radio makes a humming noise when the TV is on as well only he's the only one who can hear it and anyway, we're all kind of lying around except for the Ever-Busy-Nephews because we're tired after having chased them through the Seattle Center and I have to mention that the tropical butterfly exhibit is rather excellent, and Casey was on my shoulders while we were in it and we were standing there giggling and blinking as the butterflies flew around us and the boys dug the dinosaur thing and Dylan just blew me away with how much he knew about all of them because he is seriously SMART and we all enjoyed the Ghosts of the Abyss film at the IMAX, although one of the best parts was actually Casey in his 3D goggles and then Casey chasing the couple walking in front of us with his octopus, but back to the game where Joel Pineiro retired the side in order and then we do nothing but waste Dan Wilson's single.

So third inning and Ramon Hernandez homered to start things for the A's half, which tied the game and royally pissed me off and I very badly wanted to swear but I stopped myself because I am nothing if not a good aunt, and then Ellis walked but that was as exciting as it got and then we waste Edgar's single and we go to the fourth inning still 2-all and Joel 1-2-3's the A's and then nothing very exciting happened for us except for Carlos Guillen's infield single and let's just move along to the fifth.

Oakland does nothing thanks in large part to an EXCELLENT catch by Randy Winn playing centerfield this evening and we don't do anything either, so sixth inning and Jay is talking about what a cool dad he has and I remember that one time when Jay's dad showed up on Buhner Buzz Night as a surprise for Jay and Jay was kind of choked up and Jay's dad was so cool talking about Jay and Jay mentions how his grandparents got to be friends with Chuck Armstrong's parents because they were in the same little league organization growing up and anyway, Singleton reached on an infield single and then Tejada flew out to Willie Bloomquist who was in left and they pan to Mike Cameron in the dugout who is laughing and Singleton went to second on the play and then Chavez reached on an infield single and Singleton went to third and then Jermaine Dye hit a sac fly and the A's take the lead which was incredibly annoying but I have to admit I cracked up when Jay was talking about how he'd have to look out because there was a foul ball hit towards him in the booth at one point and then Rick started talking about the time Valle took him out trying to catch one and we head to the bottom of the sixth and Edgar threw his bat which is always exciting and then Carlos... has evidently just woken up and hasn't finished dressing himself because his uniform is unbuttoned and all sloppy looking and anyway, pay attention because this ruled:  3-2 Oakland, 2 outs, Carlos singles and then Jeff "Check This Out" Cirillo knocks one yard to give us a 4-3 lead!  YES!!!!!!!!!!

So nobody tried to CATCH Jeff's homerun in the stands, they are just cringing and trying to get away from it which I thought was kind of weak because if a homerun was coming my way I would be knocking people OUT of the stands to get to it and then we are forced to endure that revolting motor oil commercial where that old guy shakes his viagra at his wife, and anyway, seventh inning and Oakland doesn't do much except waste Hernandez's walk and we do even less as we are down in order.

So eighth inning and Cammie is back out in centerfield and he majorly adjusted himself and Arthur is in for Joel and they mention how they both just had sons and Cararra had twins and meanwhile Carlos is expecting evidently and Jamie and Karen Moyer are expecting their fifth this summer and I guess we all know what the Seattle Mariners have been doing lately!  So DOING IT jokes aside, Oakland does nothing and then some guy named Fikac relieved Mulder and a couple weeks ago, Sports Illustrated did a blurb on Tim Hudson, Mulder and Barry Zito and it was kind of funny actually, the way they talked about how they'd drink when they played golf and all this stuff, and Zito cracks me up anyway, like when he was talking about his upcoming guest star appearance on the Chris Isaak Show where he had an onscreen kiss and was all "As a kisser and a pitcher, I try to mix it up, depending on the opposition", and getting back to the game at hand, Bret singled and then Edgar flew out but not before Jay and Rick commented on his cut up shirt because the sleeves on Gar's shirt are all tattered and cut up funny and then Ricon relieved Fikac and we don't do anything else and then enter Mr. Kazuhiro Sasaki who, after giving up a lead off single to Dye,  retired the next three batters no problem and we win it 4-3!  Yay!

Photo courtesy of the A/P

"When a guy like Mulder gets a lead, sometimes he settles in.  But this team is not afraid to be behind. They just keep coming." - Bob Melvin on his Mariners