This Was One Seriously NOT Boss Game
April 9, 2003
So this rather horrifying event begins with the happy news that Joel Pineiro just became a father and unfortunately, that was about the only good or exciting part of this ballgame because Joel started off by walking the first two batters, and the first guy, Eckstein, takes off like he's racing to first and then Dave Niehaus says that "he's like a gnat" and I was TOTALLY JUST THINKING THAT and anyway, a strikeout later and Garrett Anderson singled which scored The Gnat and I have to say that the Anaheim uniforms are a really bad red, I mean that icky orangey-red isn't doing anything for anybody and anyway, Fullmer walked and you do not even want to know what Scott Speizio did.
3-0 Anaheim as we head into the bottom half and Ichiro singled and an out later and Dave and Red have a very long and somewhat amusing conversation about Ichiro's shoes and then Mark McLemore walked and then oh nevermind, let's just move along to the second and Anaheim tacks on another run and I could tell you how but I really don't care to and then Mike Cameron TRIPLES to lead things off and we ARE UNABLE TO SCORE HIM and I was a little bit appalled, and I must point out that Ben Davis is looking especially fetching with his immaculately groomed goatee this evening, which sadly enough proved to be the highlight of the game.
So anyway, third inning and it's 4-0 Anaheim and they are down in order and I'm flipping back and forth between the game and That 70's Show and then with 1 away, Randy Winn reached on an infield single but that was as exciting as it got, so fourth inning and Anaheim is down 1-2-3 and then Bret led off with a walk and 2 outs later, Carlos singled and we again DO NOT SCORE ANYONE which was seriously starting to piss me off.
Fifth inning. Anaheim does nothing. I watch American Idol I don't think Rickey deserved to get booted, and whoever Kelly Clarkson's stylist is, they should be fired IMMEDIATELY for that hair. Bottom of the fifth and with 1 out, Randy Winn is hit by a pitch. Unfortunately, he doesn't charge the mound. An out later and John Olerud singled. Then Bret was hit by a pitch. Unfortunately, Bret doesn't charge the mound either, like how BORING is this game? We leave the bags full and head to the sixth inning but not before I use some pretty foul language.
With 1 out, Brad Fullmer reached on an infield single and then got caught stealing and then Speizio doubled and blah blah blah nobody scored and moving right along Carlos "I'm Goin' Yard!" Guillen went yard just for my friend Ben who hates it when I say that goin yard thing and we head to the seventh trailing 4-1 and Anaheim does nothing and then Donnelly relieves Appier and guess what we do? NOTHING. I'm tired of talking about this game, so I'll talk about my nephews instead who are both brilliantly smart and amazing and Dylan is in Kindergarten this year (he's 5) and Casey is 2 and a half and pretty much anything Dylan does, Casey wants to do and Dylan attends private Kindergarten at my Mom's school and Casey stays with my Mom in her office all day while my sister is at work and lately Casey has been wanting to go to class really bad like "ma Den" which is Casey speak for "his Dylan" and so my Mom and sister Paula decide to enroll him in the preschool class there and he was so excited that this morning when I was talking to him on the phone for my morning Casey chat all he could talk about was "I GO CA-GEY CASS, RA-RAH!" which is Casey speak that he is going to "Casey's class, Laura!" and HOW CUTE IS THAT and when all the kids were out on the playground later Dylan kept checking up on him, like what an awesome big brotherly thing to do and all I can say is that my Beastie Boys are the coolest kids EVER
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Dylan as "Rex" & Casey as "Woody"
Halloween 2002
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So eighth inning and Giovanni Carrara relieved Joel and Eric Owens singled with 1 out and then stole second and he doesn't score and we head to our half where WE DON'T SCORE EITHER regardless of the fact that Bret led off with a single and Carlos reached on an infield single 2 outs later and we have meanwhile stranded like 850 men on base this evening, which I hate even more than that STUPID strike three rule which is a WHOLE HELL OF A LOT.
9th inning and Julio Mateo relieved Carrara and Anaheim tacks on another run thanks to Scott Speizo knocking one out and then Troy Percival relieved Rodriguez who had relieved Donnelly last inning and I didn't say that at the time because I didn't really care and come to think of it, I still don't, but anyway, we're down in order and I have to say that I miss Lou dreadfully, and that is nothing against Bob Melvin, but it's really OFF without Lou fussing around the dugout and I am PINING for the 2001 season and the way we were just slaying everyone instead of this .500 nonsense that I know we're much better than and the Fox Sports Northwest news blurb of Lou laughing in his Tampa Bay jacket VERY NEARLY KILLED ME.
