And Here They Finally Are...

Your 2003 Seattle Mariners

April 3, 2003

So this game starts while I'm still at work and right away things look promising as Ichiro singled and then Randy Winn doubled and then Edgar grounded Ichiro in and we are leading 1-0 and meanwhile Randy is on third and then Bret Boone ripped a big nasty double and okay I didn't see it but I'm sure it was big and I'm sure it was nasty and we scored Randy to lead it 2-0 as we head to the bottom of the first inning and I start giving my friend Glenn a bunch of crap because he was antagonizing me earlier that the A's were going to win again since he has (A's starting pitcher) Mulder on his Yahoo Fantasy team in addition to knowing I totally can't stand it when we lose anyway and I should probably explain that a bunch of us at work play in a Yahoo Fantasy Baseball League together every year and we are all COMPLETE MORONS about it, like we will hold meetings and haggle over stats and go on and on and basically it is this huge, geeky ordeal that my friend Marjorie used to make fun of us for but we turned her and now she's one of the biggest FB geeks around.

So back to the real game, and bottom of the first and Ellis leads off with a walk which was majorly annoying, and then Scott Hatteberg walked which was also majorly annoying not just because walks are annoying in and of themselves, but also since I have Joel Pineiro on my FB team, and then Eric Chavez is safe on an error by Willie Bloomquist and Ellis scored and I’m really glad I didn’t have to see that but a K and a ground out later and we head to the second leading 2-1.

I should probably mention that after 2 straight losses to start off the season, when I’m already traumatized with Lou’s departure and still mourning Jay Buhner’s retirement, anything but a win today is probably going to land me in the hospital and meanwhile, Lou Piniella in a Jeff Cirillo suit singled to lead things off and then an out later – okay an out after that and – yeah okay, so heading to the bottom of the second, Pineiro retires the side in order and so off to the third we go only we don’t do much of anything but waste Edgar’s walk but it’s still more than Oakland does as they 1-2-3 us to the fourth. HA!  Pardon me while I salute my own cleverness there.

So fourth inning and Greg Colbrunn who's playing first today walked and an out later and Willie walked and then Ichiro singled and Greg scored which was all kinds of exciting and then Randy reached on an infield single to load the bases up for Edgar which I immediately point out to Glenn (since I have Edgar, Ichiro and Randy on my team) how well we’re doing and how crappy Mulder is doing and then Edgar walked to force in a run and we head to the bottom half leading 4-1 and I am SO HAPPY I could cry after the last two crapfests called games.

So then I pretty much AM ready to cry as stupid Eric Chavez leads off with a double and then stupid Jermaine Dye doubles to score him and then that stupid Durazo guy singled to score stupid Dye and not only am I starting to have a huge hissy fit about it, stupid Glenn gloatingly points all of this out because he knows it irritates me no end and we manage to get out of it still leading by a run.

Fifth inning.  We waste Mike Cameron's single, so moving right along and Oakland wastes Miguel Tejada's single and I have to say that even though I hate it when the games aren't televised or are on while I'm at work, I am not missing that horrifying Honking Tuba Band one little bit, but I am a little sad that I didn't get to see Ichiro's 2 out double, even though we couldn't do anything with it.

So bottom of the sixth and Joel yields a harmless single which nobody cares about and then ia China Doll no wait some guy named Bowie relieved Mulder and unfortunately retires us in order and then Shiggy relieved Joel and walked Ellis and then Artie relieved Shiggy and John Olerud came in to play first base and 2 outs later, Ellis is on third but luckily that's as far as he gets.

So eighth inning and we're down in order and then Jermaine Dye singled to lead things off for Oakland which was totally obnoxious but a double play later and Terence Long walked but they don't score and we head to the ninth still leading 4-3 and Keith Foulke relieved Bowie and we're down 1-2-3 and then Kazu relieved Artie and a single, a sacrifice, and a single later we are TIED and I very loudly, very plainly and very much aghast right at my desk, yell "SHIT!" but everyone's used to my ranting and swearing over various things anyway because I'm rather excitable so nobody even blinks and an out later and Kazu throws a wild pitch and I throw up not really but we make it to the 10th inning 4 all.

So then Edgar, bless his heart, leads off with a double, and Mark McLemore comes in to run for him and Bret sacrificed him to third and then Ole doubled to score him and we take the lead again!  5-4!  YES!

So then Jeff Nelson relieved Kazu and with 1 out, Terence launched one long HA there I go being clever again only this was not even remotely funny at the time as I was pretty much having a stroke since we are tied AGAIN and I HATE extra innings anyway but they thankgodfully don't score anymore and we head to the 11th.

So Rincon relieves Foulke and Ben "I'm Goin' Yard!" Davis GOES YARD to give us the lead AGAIN!  YES!  YES! 

And two outs later, Randy walks and steals second!  YES!  And Mark McLemore doubles to score him!  YES!!!!!!  7-5 Mariners!  

So bottom of the 11th and Ellis singles to lead things off and I have HAD IT at this point and I go all Burt Boone and shriek "YOU'VE GOTTA BE SHITTING ME!" and I am pretty sure that they are trying to kill me because John Olerud then makes an error which he NEVER DOES on Hatteberg's grounder and we end up with 2 runners in scoring position and nobody out but then Miguel grounds out and doesn't score anybody doing it and Chavez is intentionally walked which loads the bases, and a sac fly later it is 7-6 M's and a lesser fan would've given up at this point, but not me - I'll see it through from my hospital bed with my sedative drip and happy pills and Chavez goes to second on indifference and with 2 on and 2 out Piatt, bless his heart, STRUCK OUT TO END THIS GAME and the M's come away with their first win of the season and today I finally saw what I hope will be the Mariners of 2003.